Dark Imprint
by peters.kitten
Summary: What happens when fate gets one wrong? Will he be her salvation, or is she doomed to spend eternity bound to another? Eventual Bella/Peter
1. Chapter 1

This story takes place after the Laurent incident, but before Bella finds out that Jake is a wolf. Special thanks to my betaboo for whipping this baby into shape. No copyright infringement is intended & obviously I do not own.

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Alright, my lovelies, this story is going to be a bit different from what I usually write. It's going to be darker, and it is not for Paul fans. Don't get me wrong, I love me some bad-boy-turned-good Paul/Bella stories, but...quite frankly, this ain't gonna be one of them. Sometimes bad boys remain bad and innocent hearts get broken. This story will eventually be a Peter/Bella, but it will take a little bit to get there.

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Also, please forgive me for the butchering and twisting of great lyrics to fit my twisted little story. When I'm feeling down, I have a very bad habit of taking love songs and warping them to fit my mood. I'm just a regular bag of sunshine, aren't I?  
>.<p>

_**The lights are on, but I'm not home  
>My mind is not my own<br>My heart sweats, my body shakes  
>One glance is all it takes <strong>_

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_**I can't eat, I can't sleep**_

_**There's no doubt, I'm in deep**_

_**My throat is tight, I can't breathe**_

_**Save me from, what I need**_

_**.**_

_**A one-track mind, I can't be saved**_

_**Oblivion is all I crave**_

_**.**_

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**Bella POV**

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Another week had passed and Jacob still hadn't called me. I missed him terribly. Over the past two weeks I had called him repeatedly and while I was happy to learn that he didn't have mono, I was more than a little bit hurt to find out that he had been well enough to go out with his friends but apparently not well enough to take any of my phone calls.

I absentmindedly threw my backpack into my truck and started towards home still mulling the whole Jacob situation over. I wasn't paying attention to the familiar road, letting the sound of the engine deaden my brain and silence the worries, when my subconscious delivered a verdict it must have been working on for some time without my knowledge.

As soon as I thought of it, I felt really stupid for not seeing it sooner. Sure, I'd had a lot on my mind –revenge-obsessed vampires, giant mutant killing wolves, a ragged hole in the center of my chest– but when I laid the evidence out, it was embarrassingly obvious.

Jacob avoiding me. Charlie saying he looked strange, upset. . . . Billy's vague, unhelpful answers.

Holy crow, I knew exactly what was going on with Jacob.

It was Sam Uley. Sam had gotten to Jacob. Whatever was happening to the other boys on the reservation had reached out and stolen my friend. He'd been sucked into Sam's cult. He hadn't given up on me at all, I realized with a rush of feeling.

Without giving it any conscious thought, I found myself turning off to go to La Push. I was going to get to the bottom of this and get my friend back one way or another. He would do no less for me, after all.

I finished the drive to La Push determined to wait him out. I'd sit out front of his house all night if I had to. I'd miss school. The boy was going to have to come home sometime, and when he did, he was going to have to talk to me.

I stopped in front of Jacob's house, killing the motor and rolling down the windows. It was stuffy today, no breeze. I put my feet up on the dashboard and settled in to wait.

A movement flashed in my peripheral vision. I turned and spotted Billy looking at me through the front window with a confused expression. I waved once and smiled a tight smile, but stayed where I was.

His eyes narrowed; he let the curtain fall across the glass.

I was prepared to stay as long as it took, but I wished I had something to do. I dug up a pen out of the bottom of my backpack, and an old test. I started to doodle on the back of the scrap.

I'd only had time to scrawl one row of diamonds when there was a sharp tap against my door. I jumped, looking up, expecting Billy.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" Jacob growled.

I stared at him in blank astonishment.

Jacob had changed radically in the last weeks since I'd seen him. The first thing I noticed was his hair–his beautiful hair was all gone, cropped quite short, covering his head with an inky gloss like black satin. The planes of his face seemed to have hardened subtly, tightened…aged. His neck and his shoulders were different, too, thicker somehow. His hands, where they gripped the window frame, looked enormous, with the tendons and veins more prominent under the russet skin.

But the physical changes were insignificant. It was his expression that made him almost completely unrecognizable. The open, friendly smile was gone like his hair, the warmth in his dark eyes altered to a brooding resentment that was instantly disturbing. There was a darkness in Jacob now. Like my sun had imploded.

"Jacob?" I whispered.

He just stared at me, his eyes tense and angry.

I realized we weren't alone. Behind him stood four others; all tall and russet-skinned, black hair chopped short just like Jacobs. They could have been brothers–I couldn't even pick Embry out of the group. The resemblance was only intensified by the hostile stiffness of their bodies.

I swallowed hard, mentally preparing myself for confrontation. I defiantly raised my eyes to glare at them, only to be brought up short as I met the second pair of eyes.

I could do nothing more than gape, open-mouthed, as I felt my entire being shatter only to reform again as I helplessly stared into the stranger's eyes. For one brief second, I felt as if I could breathe again. The hole left from Edward's betrayal was gone and I found myself reveling in the joy of finally being free from his confines.

Unfortunately, it didn't last. Only seconds after my old ties snapped, I was bound once again. I could almost see the ties binding me to the beautiful stranger, wrapping themselves around us both until once again my each and every breath was heavy in coming to me.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at my terrible luck. For that one brief second, I was free. To have felt that freedom only to have it snatched back seconds later was...indescribable. I wanted to mourn the loss of it, knew that I should, but it was like my body wasn't quite my own at the moment. I could feel nothing but overwhelming happiness. I felt a smile pull at my lips even as my mind rebelled against it.

What the hell had just happened to me?

I was pulled from my panicking by an agonized cry. I managed to turn my head and stare at Jake in confusion. He was shaking his head back and forth, glancing from me to the stranger in quick succession as he muttered lowly under his breath. He stopped suddenly and stared at me as if I had single-handedly just broken his heart. At my look of confusion, he finally seemed to snap.

"No. Please, Bella, no. Tell me you don't feel it. Tell me," he begged, taking a step closer to me. I looked at him helplessly as I quietly asked my own questions.

"Why do I feel like this, Jake? What's happening to me?"

Another agonized wail fell from his lips and I noticed that his whole body was shaking now. I was very faintly aware of someone yelling in the distance, but I didn't pay it much attention because my entire being was focused on the trembling boy in front of me. His pained expression quickly turned to one of pure hatred and I gasped as I realized that it was directed at me.

"I will never forgive you for this," he spat at me. I reeled back in shock and hurt . . . and it was a very good thing that I did because in the next instant Jacob erupted and suddenly I was left staring into the eyes of a giant wolf who was once my best friend.

Our eyes locked for the barest moment before he tipped his head upward and let out a long, mournful howl. Startled, I gracelessly fell backwards, wincing as my butt connected with the hard ground.

The wolf let out another bone-chilling howl before turning and darting off into the woods, leaving me a shaking, confused mess. Seeking reassurance, I instinctively turned back towards the man whose gaze started this whole sordid affair.

Reassurance, however, was not what I got. As soon as I met his eyes, he started stalking angrily toward me. My eyes widened and I fought against the overpowering instinct to move closer to him. Instead, I forced myself to do a weird sort of backwards crab walk to try and put distance between us, even though it seemed my body fought me for every single movement.

"Paul!" I heard Sam yell. The man, Paul, paused briefly but continued on until he was standing right in front of me, looking down at me. I quickly shuffled to my feet, trying to force myself to take another step back from him. I couldn't do it and that terrified me. I yearned to be with him, to be near him. What control did this man have over me that I couldn't even dictate my own feelings? I was so confused.

"How the hell did I end up imprinting on Bella fucking Swan?" he sneered, disgust written all over his face. "There's no way in hell that I'm taking sloppy seconds from a vampire. Fuck this imprinting shit. I refuse."

How was it possible for such a few words to cause such immense pain? I felt as if my chest was cracking open as I fell to my knees and cried out in agony. Through blurry eyes, I watched a myriad of emotions pass across Paul's face before he finally turned around and ran, exploding into a wolf as he retreated.

With every step he took, I felt a little bit more in control of myself. The pain seemed to be lessening down to a more manageable level, although it was still there. After a few minutes, I was finally able to get my sobs to stop altogether. I tensed slightly as I realized that someone was holding me, only to relax again as I heard Embry speaking softly to me.

I looked around and noticed that the only other person still here was Sam Uley. He was staring at me with a look of pitied confusion. It didn't comfort me in the least.

"What's happening to me?" I barely breathed. Somehow, he heard me and a small smile pulled at his lips.

"I can explain some of it, but be warned that nothing about this has been normal, even by our standards." He motioned for us to follow him. I scrambled up, sending a grateful look to Embry. He smiled softly at me and helped me get my footing.

I spent the next few hours at Sam and Emily's house, learning the ins and outs of werewolves and imprinting, although Sam readily admitted that there was nothing normal about the imprint between me and Paul. And when I looked at Emily and examined the way she and Sam seemed to fit perfectly together, I had to agree.

I finally left after promising Emily that I'd come back for dinner sometime. Neither Jacob nor Paul ever showed up and I was honestly torn between how I felt about that. Sam had taken the time to explain to me that Jake was just hurting because he thought himself to be in love with me and that I should give him time to come around. He also said that I should give Paul time as well...that he'd had a difficult life.

Still, that night as I lay in bed, I found myself replaying Jake's words and the look on his face and I started to get angry. Did he honestly think that I would _choose_ to imprint on Paul? No. He knew that I had no choice. He was simply hurt and decided to lash out at me.

And Paul...I didn't even really know what to think about him at the moment. I found myself questioning if he could even feel the imprint at all. He sure didn't seem to be able to as he spewed all the hurtful words at me as he left. My last thought before sleep claimed me was that surely it had to get better from here.

If only I would've known just how wrong I really was.

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_**The lights are on, but I'm not home  
>My mind is not my own<br>My heart sweats, my body shakes  
>One glance is all it takes <strong>_

_**.**_


	2. Chapter 2

Special thanks to my betaboo and a huge thanks to all of you who reviewed. They truly make my day and put a huge smile on my face :) For those who asked, this will indeed be a Bella/Peter story. As I warned in the first chapter, Paul is not going to be a good guy.

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**..Bella POV..**

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I awoke the next morning with my mouth open in a silent scream. Tears were streaming down my face as I gasped raggedly for air. I could still feel the remnants of fear and panic left over from my dreams even though I couldn't quite remember just exactly what my dreams had consisted of. The one thing that I did recall, however, was that they all revolved around one person. Paul.

It was actually a bit...strange...not dreaming of Edward for once. I had grown used to my nightmares of him and was able to recover from them rather quickly every morning. Apparently I was going to have to get used to a whole new set of horrors now, I thought as an image of a snarling wolf snapping at me flashed behind my eyes.

"Great, just great. Instead of being abandoned, now I dream of being eaten. And not in a good way. What a wonderful turn my life has taken," I muttered under my breath as I carefully climbed out of bed. The last thing I needed today was to get tangled up in the sheets and fall on my ass. If that happened, I might just say 'screw it' and climb back in bed to try again the next day. Yeah, I'm just a regular pot of sunshine today.

Thankfully, my ass refrained from kissing the floor and after a quick shower, I stumbled my way into the kitchen to hunt for some food. I made some toast and sat down with it at the table, absently reading the note that Charlie had left for me. He'd been called in to work and wouldn't be home until sometime tonight. It was as I finished my toast that I realized that everything wasn't exactly quite right in Bella land.

My only excuse for not noticing it sooner was that I was still half-asleep. But, oh boy, did I notice it now. As my mind threw off the last dregs of sleep, I became acutely aware of a strange...buzzing...in my head. Like, literally, _inside_ my mind. What in the world...

My thoughts trailed off as I suddenly felt an irrational sense of anger wash over me. Well, it was like it did, and it...didn't. I could feel the anger, but I wasn't totally consumed by it. I acknowledged it, felt it wash over my body, but somehow knew that it wasn't my own.

I gasped loudly and crashed to my knees as the anger suddenly amplified and then turned to pain. I felt like my arm was being chewed on and I actually stared down at it, for some reason expecting to see a wolf attached to it or some crap.

I don't know how long I sat there, staring blankly at my arm as the phantom pain continued, but I finally snapped myself out of it and managed to climb to my feet. I sat down heavily in the kitchen chair as I tried to figure out what was happening to me.

I knew that whatever it was obviously had to do with the imprint, so I trudged back to my room and dug through the pockets of the jeans that I was wearing yesterday, exhaling in relief when I found the small scrap of paper that Emily had written their phone number on.

Swallowing my nerves, I picked up the phone and carefully dialed the numbers. After at least ten rings, an out-of-breath Emily finally answered the phone.

"E-Emily?" I stuttered out, not knowing exactly what I was going to say now that I had actually called. For some reason, just blurting out 'there's something taking over my mind and my arm is being chewed on but it's not really' just didn't seem like the right thing to say. No, that wouldn't paint me in a very sane light, now would it?

"Bella? Listen, I'm really busy right now. Paul and Jacob got into a fight and Paul got one of his arms broken and I'm trying to straighten it out before it heals crooked and has to be re-broken. I promise I'll call you later!" she said in a rush, swiftly hanging up the phone afterwards.

I was left staring at the phone, completely and totally stunned. My mind quickly connected the dots and I found myself growling out profanaties. I was feeling the bastard's emotions! That's what the buzzing inside my head was. I felt his anger before the fight and then his pain after Jake kicked his butt. Great. Just freaking great. Whose puppy did I kick in a previous life to deserve this shit?

For some totally odd and off the wall reason, my mind conjured up an image of SpongeBob saying, "At least I'm safe inside my mind." I snorted out loud.

"No, SpongeBob, I'm really not. The impenetrable fortress has been breached," I mumbled, picturing alarms going off inside my head and little people running around screaming 'Red Alert! Red Alert! Intruder in sector five!' I snickered to myself and made a mental note to lay off the spy movies for awhile.

Well, since I was stuck like this for who know's how long, I might as well figure out how to cope with it. It simply wouldn't do for me to sporadically pop-a-ho or randomly fall to my knees. In a different situation, it could totally give someone the wrong idea. I snickered as I imagined the look that would be on Mike's face if I ever fell to my knees in front of him.

Yes, I definitely needed to nip this crap in the bud before I ended up in a sticky situation...literally. Shuddering, I shook my head at the images that that conjured up, and made my way to my room. I laid back on the bed and focused solely on the buzzing. After what felt like hours, I finally gained a little bit of insight into the connection.

Surprisingly, I ended up comparing it to a blood-bond between a human and a vampire in a book that I had read while I was pretending to meditate with Renee. I was blood-bound to a werewolf. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any weirder...

Technically, though, since I wasn't dealing with vampires, I shouldn't really call it a blood-bond. Maybe something wolf related and more aptly named? Hmm...a mongrel-shackle just didn't have the same ring to it. It _was_ fitting, though, I thought with a chuckle.

Another wave of pain washed over me and all amusement that I'd found quickly disappeared. Thinking back on the book, I recalled that one of the characters had actually been able to block off the bond. It couldn't possibly hurt to try, I thought with a shrug.

Two long hours later, all I'd managed to do was give myself a killer headache. I stood with a sigh, and shambled to the bathroom and the relief that the medicine cabinet could offer me. I froze as I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. The bags under my eyes would rival any hungry vamps and although I looked better now than I had pre-Jake, I still hadn't put back all the weight I'd lost yet. I made a mental note to buy some twinkies the next time I went to the store.

Two tylenol and half an hour later, I finally managed to kick the headache. Charlie called and let me know that he'd be working late so I ended up just fixing myself a sandwich instead of actually cooking. I cleaned the house and done some laundry before deciding to call it a night.

I tossed and turned for a while, but sleep alluded me. I found myself wishing that I could hear Edward's lullaby because it always helped me relax. I sat straight up in bed as I realized that I had been thinking of Edward and the Cullens on and off all day and not once had I broken down or even shed a tear over them.

Well, at least I found one good thing about the imprint. I was now able to look back on our time with nothing but fond memories. Well, mostly. I still felt the sting of betrayal when I thought of how everything had ended, but it wasn't the all-consuming black hole that had once eaten at me.

No, my black hole had been upgraded to a thick chain that was currently trying to pull me in the direction of La Push. I had felt the tug in my chest earlier, but it had been quickly overwhelmed by Paul's emotions. I could feel nothing but a general sense of calm through the bond now and I was guessing it was because he was asleep.

Now that the bond wasn't so overwhelming, I could feel the pull more acutely. It was like a strong sense of yearning, a desperate need to get to whatever was at the end of it. I had no doubt that I would be able to locate Paul no matter where he was by following the pull. Scary thought when I considered that he could probably do the same to me.

In that moment, I was actually appreciative of my time spent living with the black hole. I was very stubborn and I knew how to deal with emotional pain. I would learn to cope, to adjust and live with this just like I did before. Bent, but not broken.

No way would I give in to the tug and run to that bastard with my tail tucked between my legs. No way would I roll over and show him my belly. No way would I go begging for him like a bitch in heat. And, yeah, I really need to stop with the canine jargon and go to sleep...wouldn't want to make myself sick as a dog, now would I?

It was the next day before I realized that Emily had never called me back. Little did I know, she never would.

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_I still remember the world _

_from the eyes of a child._

_Slowly those feelings_

_were crowded by what I know now._

_._

_Where has my heart gone?_

_Trapped in the eyes of a stranger._

_I want to go back to_

_knowing nothing at all._

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I'm extremely nervous about this story for some reason. For those of you who read Gun Show, it should update tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Leave me some love in the form of a review and let me know what you think. Writers need love too!


	3. Chapter 3

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of my wonderful readers! Hope your holidays went well and your new year is filled with happiness!

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**... Bella POV...**

It had been a week since the imprint and I was slowly adapting. Now that I was more used to living with the bond, it was easier to push it to the back of my thoughts. Most of the time it was just a gentle buzzing inside my head. There had been a few times when especially strong emotions had overwhelmed me, but thankfully I had been able to hide my reactions to them.

The pull, however, was a different story. It seemed to grow stronger with every passing day. It wanted me to go to him, to submit myself. It whispered promises of love and devotion into my head and left me hungry for the images it painted. I felt like I was going crazy. It was slowly eating at me, eroding my will away. It was only a matter of time before I snapped and gave in to it.

The next night proved to be my demise. Charlie had came in earlier and told me that they were having a bonfire at the res and that I should go with him. That was how I found myself riding in the cruiser towards La Push with Charlie, silently cursing myself for giving in so easily.

In all honestly, it wasn't just the pull that had compelled me to come. It was the total lack of communication with them all. Emily never called me back, which honestly didn't surprise me although it did sting just a little bit. But Jake, well, I had tried to call Jake everyday for the past three days. He still wouldn't take any of my calls and I was hurt and pissed and lonely and weak, so very, very weak willed that I gave in after only eight days.

It was easy to spot them, even in the dim glow from the fire. I carefully avoided looking at them and instead followed Charlie around as he talked to his friends. He gave me a few odd looks, but never said anything about the fact that I was trailing him around like a lost puppy. That thought brought a smile to my face and I found myself walking farther down the beach, closer to the water.

I sat down on a large washed-up piece of driftwood and ran my fingers through the sand. I picked up a handful and slowly let it slide between my fingers and back to the ground. I felt at ease for the first time all week. The insistent pull was finally quiet, nothing more than a faint tingle since I was so close to him.

I sensed eyes on me and instantly stilled. Slowly I turned around and found Jake a few feet away, staring intently at me. I couldn't make out the expression on his face and I knew that didn't bode well for my hopes of getting my best friend, my sun, back.

"Jake," I whispered, reaching my hand out towards him. He shook his head and actually took a step back. My heart ached sharply as I let my hand fall back to my side. I turned away and stared at the water once more.

"I didn't choose this, you know. I had no choice whatsoever. There's no way I would wish this on my worst enemy, let alone choose it for myself," I murmured softly. He didn't say anything for a while, and I started to wonder if he even would.

"I...I know. I just...I can't watch it happen. I'm sorry, Bells, but I just can't take it. You're _Paul's_ imprint," he spat the name harshly. "I can't interfere. You're not my responsibility anymore." His words felt like knives and I could feel each of them cut me deeper and deeper.

"Is that all I ever was to you, Jacob? A responsibility? Is that how you thought of me all this time?" I whispered, frantically wiping at the tears that were steadily streaming down my face.

"No, Bells, that didn't come out right," he sighed. I waited but he didn't say anything else.

"I think it came out just as you meant it, Jake. Don't worry, I'll leave you alone since I'm no longer your _responsibility_," I hissed. "Let me guess, it'll be just like you never existed?" I laughed bitterly as I felt Jacob's betrayal cut deeper into me.

"It's for the best," he growled. I heard clothing rip and paws hitting the sand as he ran away, leaving me alone, a crying sobbing mess.

"Why is it that I never get to decide what's best for me?" I murmured softly.

After a few minutes, I forced myself to be strong, to be brave at least until I got home where no one could witness my weakness. I cleaned myself up the best I could and turned to go back towards the bonfire. That was when I saw him standing in the shadows, just staring at me. I swallowed hard.

"Just leave us alone, vampire girl. No one wants you around," he said coldly. My body instantly flooded with pain and I wanted nothing more than to fall to the ground, curl up in a ball and cry. However, this time I was slightly prepared for what would happen to me because of Paul's harsh words so I was able to force the pain aside a bit.

"I'm your imprint. You need me just as much as I need you," I said quietly, silently praying for strength.

"Is that what you think?" he asked with a dark laugh. I felt my heart shatter as he sneered at me and said, "I shut my side of the imprint off, vampire girl. The only thing I _need _right now is a good piece of ass and I sure as hell wouldn't sink low enough to get that from _you_."

I just stood there, shocked to my core. A few seconds later, I watched in horror as a slutty girl in a short skirt ran up to Paul and molded herself to him.

"Come on," she whined. "Aren't you done yet? You know that beer makes me horny, baby. I need you to help me out." The little slut was grinding herself on him, kissing his neck as she pulled at his belt. All the while Paul's eyes were fixed firmly on mine.

"See? No one wants you here. Do us all a favor and leave us the fuck alone."

"Okay," I whispered softly. "I will."

_Just hold it together a little while longer_, I told myself as I numbly made my way back to the bonfire and quickly located Charlie.

"You okay, Bells? You don't look so hot," he said, instantly concerned.

"I don't think the fish I cooked earlier agreed with me. I'm really sick to my stomach. Do you think you could run me home?" I asked, giving him a weak smile. _Just hold it together a little while longer._

"Sure. Let me just tell the guys we're leaving." He handed me the keys to the cruiser and I made my way to it and climbed in the passenger seat. A couple minutes later, Charlie climbed in and started the engine.

It was as we pulled away, that I felt it. Paul's lust and arousal crashed through me making my stomach roil. I must have whimpered because Charlie turned to me and started asking if I was alright. I couldn't answer him. I was too busy trying to keep the bile down.

Wave after wave washed over me, getting stronger and stronger. I could almost see him with the slut, ramming into her from behind doggy-style as she panted out his name like the little bitch that she was.

"Pull over," I choked out. I clutched at the door handle, ripping at it, desperately trying to get out of the car.

"Dammit, Bella, hold on!" Charlie shouted, whipping the car over to the side of the road. As soon as he put it in park, the door unlocked and I gracelessly sprawled out of the car. I pushed to my knees and bent over, finally loosing the fight to keep my lunch down. I didn't stop until I was dry heaving, having nothing left to loose. Mercifully, by the time I was finished, Paul had finished too...albeit in a very, very different way.

Strong arms scooped me up and rocked me gently.

"Charlie?" I whimpered, my voice small and unsure.

"I'm right here, baby," he mumbled, awkwardly putting me inside the car. His words seemed familiar and I could almost recall why, but it seemed just out of reach. We road in silence for a short time, before he reached over and lightly patted my hand.

"We're almost home now, honey."

His words sparked something within me and I finally remembered why they sounded so familiar. My memory of the hours after Edward's departure was sketchy at best, but one thing I did remember was Charlie's words...the exact same words that he'd used tonight. I felt a small smile tug at my lips. No matter what else happened, I wasn't totally alone. I still had my Dad.

Too bad there are some problems in life that a parent would never be able to fix, no matter how much they wished they could.

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_Don't want to be the one to walk away  
>But I can't bear the thought of one more day<br>I think I finally understand what it means to be lost_

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_Can't find the road to lead me out of this_  
><em>A million miles from where you burned the bridge<em>  
><em>Can't keep pretending everything's going to be alright<em>  
><em>With the whole world falling down on me<em>

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_I never learn  
>So I fall down again<br>Heaven, help me find a way to dream within this nightmare_

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_Cross the oceans in my mind_  
><em>Find the strength to say goodbye<em>  
><em>Everything that I believed in was a lie<em>

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_Cross the oceans in your mind_  
><em>Find a way to blur the line<em>  
><em>In the end you never can wash the blood from your hands<em>

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**Start the new year off right,- - click that review button and tell me what you think :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! You gals rock, so hard! Special thanks to my boo for pre-reading!**

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**...Bella's POV...**

It took two full days before I got well enough to keep food down after the bonfire incident. Charlie was wonderful and even took off work to look after me. I hate to admit that I clung to him, but I did. I just needed to feel that I wasn't alone. Unfortunately, only a few days later, our roles were reversed and I was the one comforting him when Harry Clearwater died.

I did my best to stay strong for him, making sure I carefully concealed my emotional breakdowns and crying fits. I had even decided to brave it and go to the funeral with him. I was going to support Charlie and I wouldn't pay anyone else any attention at all. They could all go to hell for all I cared.

It was as we were walking out the door that it hit me. A strong wave of lust and determination rolled over me and I jetted back into the house and barely made it to the toilet in time. Charlie was torn between wanting to stay and needing to go. I finally persuaded him that I was fine, that I just hadn't quite gotten over my stomach virus yet.

Things only went downhill from there.

Over the next two months, I got progressively worse. Not once did anyone from La Push try to contact me, and not once did I let myself contact them. Oh, there were many, many days where I picked up the phone and dialed the first few numbers, only to hang up before completing the sequence. All I had to do to stop myself was to force up my last memory of Paul and everything that he told me. I don't think that I truly believed what he said when he first said it, but as the days turned to weeks and the phone stayed silent, my beliefs changed.

Paul had upped his extracurricular activities to the point were I was lucky if I kept anything at all down some days. I was so used to the bond by this point that the only thing that affected me anymore was the lust. Everything else was just background noise, but I couldn't quite numb myself enough to stop his fucking around from hurting me. Every single time I felt as if a hot poker was being stabbed in my heart.

I lost weight, a lot of it. It wasn't from lack of trying to eat, but from the fact that I literally couldn't keep food down once Paul started fucking some whore and I got hit with all his emotions. It was a vicious thing to try to hide, but with the help of oversized clothing and lots of makeup, I managed.

Not that it really mattered, in the end. I had no friends to try and hide it from, no one else that I spent time with other than Charlie. I made sure I put on a good show for him, though, when he was around. Which sadly wasn't all that much anymore. Since he'd been asked to help with a case in Seattle, he was hardly ever home.

The pull in my chest had grown to epic proportions. What had started out as a simple little tug was now a full-force tornado that tried to suck me under every single second of every day. It constantly felt like my chest was split open, exposing my raw, bleeding heart for everyone to see. The only thing that had kept it from forcing me to him was his terrible words to me that day. I refused to go where I wasn't wanted, pain be damned.

But I was tired, so damned tired, and I was weary, and it was slowly but surely wearing me down. Each day I felt as if a little more of my sanity eroded away, leaving me less than I was the day before. It wasn't enough that the bond destroyed my body, the pull was right there to destroy my mind as well. If I continued to resist, would there even be anything left of me in the end? I truly doubted it.

I shook my head and roused myself from my memories. I was graduating today and I really needed to get my ass in gear. _I'm doing this for Charlie_, I reminded myself. He deserves to get to see his daughter graduate from high school. _I could do it for Charlie._

I sighed as I looked down at the scale I was standing on. Ninety-four pounds. I was officially a twig. Just fucking lovely. I sighed again and started layering up, being careful that each layer was carefully concealed beneath the long-sleeved full dress that I had picked for the occasion. I caked some make-up on my face and watched as all signs of the deep bruises under my eyes faded as I expertly wielded it with my hands. I could do make-up like a pro now. Wouldn't Alice be so proud, I thought with a bitter chuckle.

Graduation went off without a hitch. I didn't trip and fall on my face, which got me to thinking that since the imprint I really hadn't been all that clumsy. I'm sure I set a new record of time between hospital visits. Poor Forks General might have went out of business without my klutzy ass to support it. I snickered at the thought.

The only really interesting thing that happened at graduation was when Jessica, who hadn't spoken a word to me for the last six months, pulled me aside and started babbling about how we were the best of friends from the moment we saw each other and shit. My only reply was to look at her incredulously and say, "Bitch, please." She didn't try to talk to me again after that and I couldn't have been happier about it.

Pictures were taken, diplomas were handed out, and no one but Charlie came to see me. Not even Billy bothered to show up which, after over two months of no contact, didn't really surprise me but I could tell that it upset Charlie. Nothing I could do about that, though.

Here it was two days after graduation and I still hadn't decided what I wanted to do yet. Hell, I didn't even know what I could do at this point. The pull in my chest seemed to expand and I swear a fucking vortex was pulling me towards the res. Sighing in defeat, I grabbed my keys and decided to go over there. I was fucking spent and I couldn't fight it anymore. I made it as far as the front door before I felt the familiar feelings wash over me. I groaned and leaned my forehead against the still-closed door. Fuck, not now. I couldn't take this anymore!

I looked at the door and found myself wondering why it was suddenly swaying like that. _Doors shouldn't sway_, was the last thought I had before I hit the floor and the blackness consumed me.

.

_You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
>You forgot me long ago.<br>Am I that unimportant?  
>Am I so insignificant?<em>

_._

_You won't try for me, not now._  
><em>Though I'd die to know you love me,<em>  
><em>I'm all alone.<em>  
><em>Isn't someone missing me?<em>

_._

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed_  
><em>Knowing you don't care.<em>  
><em>And if I sleep just to dream of you<em>  
><em>I'll wake without you there,<em>  
><em>Isn't something missing?<em>  
><em>Isn't someone missing me?<em>

_._

**Next chapter will be longer and will be in Charlie's POV. A lot of you have asked questions and commented about the wolf pack and their lack of contact with Bella. It will be explained, probably in chapter 6 or 7. Also, most of y'all are wondering when Peter is going to show...that'll probably be around chapter 8, so not that long!**

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**As always, please take a second of your time and leave a review. They make my day, each and every one of them! **

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	5. Chapter 5

**Yeah, I know it's been awhile. Let's just assume that I was temporarily abducted by aliens. No worries, they beamed me back home after declaring that they were looking for **_**intelligent**_** lifeforms. Yay for me.**

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**Charlie's POV**

.

I smiled as I pulled into the driveway and saw Bella's truck sitting there. Having my daughter with me this last year and a half had been one of the best things to ever happen to me. I never realized just how lonely I had been until Bella showed up and brightened my life.

I chuckled gruffly at just how pansy-assed I sounded. This was the reason that I very rarely voiced my emotions. It all just sounded so...un-manly, even if it was the truth. Bella was truly the one thing that I was the most proud of in my life.

Now, that's not to say that we haven't had our ups and downs during her stay here, namely Edward Cullen. I grumbled as I killed the engine. If I ever saw that kid again, I would be mighty tempted to bury a couple in his chest and make sure his body was never found. When they say that fatherhood makes you a better man, they never mention that it can also turn you into a cold-hearted killer. Because to protect my daughter, there really isn't anything that I wouldn't do.

Ever since graduation, I'd been trying to decide how to broach the subject of college with Bella. It wasn't that I wanted her to leave, far from it, but she was a smart kid and she deserved the chance to leave this town and make something of herself. I wasn't selfish enough to ask her to choose a school around here, even if I did have a few brochures from the colleges in Port Angeles tucked in my glove box.

There was also something else that I had been trying to figure out the best way to approach...my dating again. Now I knew that Bella wouldn't have a problem with me dating again and that she would probably even be extremely happy for me. The thing was who I was starting to see regularly.

Not that Bella would have any qualms about Sue herself, per say. Sue was an amazing woman and I'm sure she and Bella would get along well if it wasn't for the fact that Bella had basically shunned anything to do with the reservation. And for some reason, they had shunned her as well.

I wouldn't lie and say that it didn't hurt. Billy had been my friend for years and was there for me through my darkest days when Renee first left me. Still, the way that they all treated my daughter had driven a permanent wedge into our friendship, the last bonfire Bella and I attended being the major turning point.

I still didn't understand it. Bella had went from being Jacob's best friend to being a reservation pariah. I confronted Billy about it and his explanation for it was that Jake had expressed his feelings for Bella and she didn't feel the same way about him. I knew it was bullshit and I definitely called him on trying to put everything off on Bella. No, I was positive that whatever happened between Jake and Bella was not my daughter's fault.

At first I was worried that she would revert back to how she was after Edward left. I even took a couple days off work to watch over her, pretending that I did so because of her stomach virus. No, the reason I did so was to make sure that she knew I was there for her. And I wanted to be right there if I noticed any of her old habits starting in so I could nip that crap in the bud real fast. There was no way I could live through another of what I called Bella's 'zombie state'.

Surprisingly, Bella didn't fall to pieces at the loss of Jake. Sure, I noticed her with red eyes quite a few times, but that was a normal reaction. I pretended not to notice and she pretended that she was fine. Over time, though, she did get better, although for the first few weeks I noticed that she watched the phone constantly.

Eventually, she adapted and her smiles and laughs stopped being fake. She still had a lingering sense of sadness to her, but my daughter was a trooper and I knew she would be okay. The only thing that worried me now was her almost chronic case of stomach sickness. That was another subject that I would need to approach carefully. I wanted her to go to the doctor and get some tests done. I planned on asking her about it tonight.

I grabbed the pizza boxes and made my way to the door, hoping that the gooey treat would make Bella more suseptible to my pleas. After spending so much time in hospitals and clinics due to her two left feet, Bella hated doctors with a passion. I was happily surprised when she seemed to grow out of her clumsy faze a couple months ago. I'm sure my insurance company was happy as well.

I awkwardly shuffled the pizza boxes to one hand and reached out to grab the door knob. It was unlocked and turned easily, but when I went to push the door open, I was met with resistance. What the hell? I pushed harder, opening the door up a little bit, and glanced down to try and see what was blocking the door.

The pizza boxes fell forgotten to the porch as I stared in horror at what I could see of my daughter. Immediately, different scenarios began flashing through my mind, each worse than the last. _Please, God, don't let her be dead. _

"Bella! Bella, baby, wake up!" I yelled but got no response. I sprinted around to the back door, fishing my keys out of my pocket as I ran. I fumbled with the lock for a second, before finally giving up and simply busting the door open. I knew I needed to stay calm. Hell, I'd trained for years to keep a clear head in situations like this. However, all my training flew out the window when I first saw Bella's prone form sprawled out across the floor, blood still oozing from her head.

I froze, staring in horror and trying not to assume the worst. I would kill whoever did this to her. I would rip them apart with my bare hands and scatter the pieces all over the state. I would-

All my thoughts cut off as I heard Bella moan quietly. She was still alive. Bella was alive! I ran to her and dropped to my knees, barely registering the tears of relief that were flowing down my face. I pulled her to me and almost slumped in relief when she started to stir.

"Bells, honey, can you hear me?"

"Charlie?" Her voice was soft, but I still heard her. Never before had I been so happy to hear my name.

"I'm here, Bells, I'm here," I said shakily.

"What happened?" she muttered, gaining a little bit more coherency.

"I don't know, but we're going to the hospital." I picked her up surprisingly easily and carried her to the cruiser. She felt so tiny to me and I frowned as I wondered if she'd lost weight.

"Can you remember anything, Bells? Anything at all?" I asked her as I pulled onto the road. Her eyes opened slightly and she looked at me, perplexed.

"Something was wrong with our door. It was swaying. Doors shouldn't sway," she mumbled, her eyes drifting shut once more. Okay, so maybe I had misjudged her coherency level a bit, I thought with a snicker.

She was out the rest of the way to the hospital and stayed that way even as I carried her in through the emergency entrance. The nurse at the counter glanced up and her eyes widened when she saw us. She immediately jumped up and ran towards us, quickly directing us into a room. Sometimes it was good to be Chief.

The doctor was paged and I was scooted out of the room when the nurse came back to get Bella into a hospital gown and take her vitals. She came out of the room looking pale and quickly tried to rush past me, avoiding my eyes. My heart dropped.

"What's wrong? Is she going to be okay?" I asked her, stepping in front of her to block her path. She looked up at me with wide, pitying eyes.

"The doctor will be in there in just a minute, Charlie. Why don't you go on in there and wait for him?" she suggested softly. I stared at her for a minute before nodding my head once.

"Is she going to be okay?" The nurse sighed loudly.

"It's nothing serious, really. She's got a cut on her head that will probably need a stitch or two, but other than that, I don't think she has any injuries from the fall. She's fully awake now. Why don't you go on in there?"

She patted my arm as I stepped aside, allowing her to pass. I quickly made my way into the room and froze when I saw my daughter in the bed.

"Dad?" she asked, fidgeting slightly as she watched me.

"Bella?" I choked, taking another step closer to her. She looked so...different. Awful, actually.

The nurse had cleaned all the blood off her face, which I'm guessing also washed off all the make-up that she was wearing. Her face was sallow and sunken-in with darkly bruised circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept in weeks.

And, damn, she was so _tiny_. Her arms were nothing more than skin and bones, her small form swallowed by the hospital gown that she was wearing. How did I not notice this before? Am I really that un-observant that I didn't notice that my own daughter was slowly wasting away?

"What happened to you?" It slipped out before I could stop myself. She sighed and looked away. I closed the distance between us and slipped her hand into my own. It was so small, so fragile. _She_ was fragile.

"I didn't want you to worry. When I got that stomach virus a couple months ago, it never really went away. I haven't been able to keep much down lately."

"Oh, honey, we'll find out what's causing it. We'll get you better," I promised her. She gave me a weak smile and squeezed my hand.

She stayed in the hospital for five days. Test after test was ran on her with no definite diagnosis. I had to leave the room when the doctor first told Bella that she only weighed ninety-one pounds. How could I not notice? Bella apologized repeatedly for hiding it from me and assured me that she was just that good at concealing it, but, still, I questioned myself.

Bella was sick the first two days and the doctors couldn't find anything that could be causing it. They tried kind after kind of anti-nausea medicine until finally, on the third day, they found one that seemed to work. Bella was able to keep down everything that she ate and anyone with eyes could see that she was feeling a little better. The sleeping pills they gave her at night seemed to be helping her as well. The circles under her eyes got a little lighter every day.

As I took her home from the hospital that fifth day, I thought things were getting better. I was wrong.

A week later I came home early and found her hunched over the toilet, dry heaving. She had apparently just gotten out of the shower, because she was wrapped in nothing but a towel. The dark marks were back just as dark under her eyes and I swear she was nothing more than skin stretched over a skeleton of bones.

I'm ashamed to say that I turned away. I backed out of that bathroom and went straight back to my cruiser. I needed a beer and I needed someone to talk to about this. I was at a loss and I needed advice. For the first time in weeks, I drove to Billy Black's house.

.

.

_All I want from you is your hurting  
>I want to heal you<br>I want to save you from the dark _

_.  
>Give unto me your troubles<br>I'll endure your suffering  
>Place onto me your burden<br>I'll drink your deadly poison _

_.  
>Give unto me all that frightens you<br>I'll have your nightmares for you  
>If you sleep soundly<em>

_._

_._

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews that were left while I was..erm, being probed? LOL. Seriously, though, thanks! You people are pure awesomeness. I have started the next chapter and hope to have it up within a couple weeks. I am also in the process of reading back through MDW and GS and I'll hopefully get some inspiration and pop out a chapter for one of them as well.

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_._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Glad I still have some readers left! Special thanks to my girls Krystina, Autumn, and Dewfs! Y'all inspire and motivate me to write and I'm grateful for you all!**_

_**.**_

_**The aliens must've probed me good cuz look, I just popped out another chapter (on top of the new oneshot I just posted today). Go me!...and, uh, go probing! Yeah, I'm just gonna shut up now.**_

_**. **_

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**Bella POV**

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I groaned as I felt the disgusting feelings wash over me once more. I was halfway through my shower and hadn't even conditioned my hair yet. I quickly turned the water off and wrapped a towel around my body.

Another wave hit me and I doubled over, upheaving the entire contents of my stomach into the toilet. I was still dry-heaving when I noticed that Charlie was standing in the doorway. He just stared at me in horror, before backing out and away from me.

I sighed as I heard him drive off a minute later. Poor Charlie. I wished I knew what to do so that I could stop hurting him so much. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I always disappointed him in the end.

The hospital trip was an eye-opening experience to say the least. I thanked my lucky stars that Paul decided to lay off the fucking around for a few days at least. I had actually started to feel a little bit better due to all the rest I was getting. That all changed the night after we got home.

I awoke from a medicine induced sleep, feeling Paul's lust and determination crash over me. My reprieve was over. He had pulled the same shit every single day since, making it impossible for me to keep anything, even the sleeping pills, down. I was in a bad way and I knew that something was going to have to give and soon.

I groaned again as I flushed the toilet and started the shower once more. It was only a matter of time before Charlie caught me. He'd been watching me like a hawk all week when he was home. I was lucky that he hadn't found out before now. I was going to have to go see Paul today whether I liked it or not. Maybe I could explain everything that was happening and talk him into teaching me how to shut off the imprint.

Or maybe I could just kill him. Did I need silver bullets to kill a werewolf and where would I go about buying some? I smirked and shook my head, letting the hot water cascade over me. My thoughts had been getting progressively darker lately and I found myself bitter and resentful most of the time. My sanity was a very fragile thing these days.

I was startled out of my thoughts by the slamming of the bathroom door. I screamed as the shower curtain was ripped down, leaving none other than Jacob Black standing there staring at me wide-eyed.

"What the fuck, Jacob?" I screeched, grabbing the towel I used earlier and wrapping it around myself. That seemed to snap him out of it.

"What the fuck, indeed, Bella? I overhear Charlie telling Dad that you just got out of the hospital and that you only weighed ninety pounds! Do you realize how much you're hurting Charlie? He was crying, Bella. Crying! You are so fucking selfish that you don't care who you hurt!" he yelled at me. His eyes raked over me and he shook his head. "You disgust me," he whispered.

"I disgust you, do I?" I laughed bitterly and dropped the towel to the floor. "What, you not like what you see, Jacob? You think I like looking like a fucking holocaust survivor? You think I did this shit to myself on purpose?" I screamed.

"What the fuck am I supposed to think, Bella," Jacob roared.

"Honestly, I don't give two shits what you think about me anymore, Jake. I stopped caring about your opinion when you tossed me aside like a fucking used tissue."

"Now, Bel-"

"No, Jacob Black, you listen to me," I cut him off. "Have you even once wondered what being Paul's imprint was doing to me? Or were you too busy being selfish and thinking only about your own hurt feelings? Did you know that I can tell when Paul is off fucking some whore? I can _feel_ it, Jacob. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. It hurts me, Jake. It literally makes me so sick that I can't hold down any food."

"I- I didn't know, Bells," Jacob stuttered, taking a step back.

"Of course you didn't know. You didn't care enough about me to fucking ask. No one does. You all just spring this imprint shit on me and then abandon me, not giving me another fucking thought. You want someone to blame for this, Jacob?" I asked, motioning down at the bones jetting out through my skin. "You can blame your fucking self for being such a shitty friend!"

"You don't mean that," he whispered, shocked.

"Don't I? It's been almost three months, Jake. Three fucking months of pure hell for me. Three months of feeling that bastard inside my head, feeling him fuck other women. Three months of nothing but pain, nothing but hurting so fucking bad that I have trouble functioning. Three months of being all alone, Jacob, because my best friend abandoned me to my fate."

"Jesus, Bells, I didn't fucking know," he yelled, agony apparent in his voice.

"It doesn't matter anymore," I sighed. "Is there any way to break the imprint, Jake? Any way at all?"

"Short of death? No, there isn't," he replied bitterly. "But I can fix this. I promise you that I'll fix this. I'll go talk to Sam. He can order Paul to stop. He's the Alpha, Paul has to listen to him. I won't abandon you again, Bells. I'll help you through this. We'll get you healthy again."

"No!" I shouted, appalled. "You will do no such thing! Paul can do whatever the fuck he wants to. He didn't ask for this, and I'm glad that at least one of us can shut down the fucking bond and live a normal life."

"Shut down the bond? Is that what he told you? He can't shut down the bond anymore than you can. I've been inside his head, Bells. All he thinks about is you. He's been trying to fuck you out of his system. But no matter what he does or who he fucks, you're still there. You will always be there, because you're his fucking imprint. No matter how much he may hate it."

"He hates me?" I whimpered, cursing myself when I felt the traitorous tears filling up my eyes. I hated the fact that I cared what he thought. I just wanted to be myself again. Jacob was still talking, but I hadn't heard a word he said because I had just realized the full extent of what he had told me.

"Wait. He can't shut down the bond at all? So he still feels everything that I feel?" I asked, cutting Jacob off.

"Yeah. It's kinda funny, actually. He has to work extra hard to get it up, because he can feel your disgust with him."

"Yeah. Funny," I murmured, realizing just how young Jacob really was. I felt like my chest was on fire. Paul could still feel me. He _knew_ what he was doing to me, _knew_ what he was making me feel. And he didn't fucking care because he hated me. Well, fuck him and fuck this imprint. If it took death to break it, then so fucking be it.

"You really need to leave," I said abruptly. When he just stood there staring at me, I motioned to my naked body. "I really need to finish my shower and get dressed."

"Y-Yeah. Yeah, okay. I guess I'll, uh, see you later," he stuttered out, red faced. And with that he was gone just as quickly as he came.

I quickly threw my clothes on and ran to my room. I grabbed my bag and started chunking clothes in it. I grabbed my scrapbook and the picture frame from beside my bed that held a picture of me and Charlie at graduation. I found a pencil and a piece of paper and sat down to write the most difficult letter of my life.

When my eyes became suspiciously damp, I folded the paper up and left it on my bed. I rummaged through my underwear drawer until I found the sock that contained all my savings. I shoved it in my pocket, grabbed my stuff, and walked out the door for what was probably the last time.

Thirty minutes later I was driving past the Forks sign, tears streaming down my face as I left the one person that actually cared what happened to me. It wasn't fair for me to stay and force him to watch me waste away further with each passing day.

No, I would be far away from this town when I chose to meet my oblivion. And I definitely planned on going out with a bang.

_._

_I've been believing in something so distant  
>And I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness<br>In me, in me_

_.  
>I have nothing left<br>And all I feel is this cruel wanting_

_.  
>Run away, run away<br>One day I won't feel this pain anymore_

_.  
>Take it all away<br>Shadows of you  
>Cause they won't let me go<br>Until I have nothing left  
>And all I feel is this cruel wanting.<em>

_._

_._

_*dons announcer voice*_ Have you ever wondered how would do Bella/Jasper?  
>Now's your chance to find out! Go check out her new <strong>BellaJasper oneshot Lasting Impression**. Be warned, though...you might wish she'd have just stuck with her Peter stories!

.

Sighs. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd refer to myself in third person *watches pig fly by* Anywho, leave me a big juicy review and then go check out my Jasper story. You know, if you want to :)


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks for all of you who have stuck by me through my long hiatus. Special thanks to Bob for looking this over for me. I hope y'all enjoy :D_

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Bella's POV

.

I don't know how long I drove, or even where I planned on going. The pull was excruciating and I found myself losing time more and more frequently. I drove myself to exhaustion, stopping frequently to restock on Red Bulls and caffeine pills to stave off sleeping.

They were coming for me. _He_ was coming for me. Chasing me down. I could feel it through the bond, though I couldn't make much out of the confusing maelstrom of emotions that I could feel rumbling through him. He was desperate to find me. He was hunting me down like wounded prey. No matter how little I slept, or how much I drove, I could feel him closing in on me.

The time slips were also getting worse. I was now losing hours, instead of mere minutes. And, still, I could feel him growing closer. Stalking me. Haunting me.

As horrible as frequently losing chunks of time was, it was nothing compared to the feeling of losing my mind. It felt as if the Pull was trying to take over, trying to possess me and make me go to _him_. Bow down to _him. _Abase myself before _him_ and beg for his forgiveness.

Thankfully, I wasn't known for my stubbornness for nothing. I refused to give in, refused to go crawling back to him on my hands and knees like a good little bitch. I was stronger than the Pull. I could beat it.

At least, that's what I told myself as I pulled up in front of a mall to do a little shopping. I had my own plan to prepare for and it definitely did not include facing the wolves. I was going to give Paul a taste of his own medicine. For once, the tables would be turned and he would be the one suffering. I just needed to...

A throbbing pain shot through my head, bringing me back to myself. A glance at the clock showed that I had lost almost three hours this time. I buried my face in my hands in frustration. My brain felt like scrambled eggs... or at least how I imagined scrambled eggs would feel, if eggs could, you know, feel.

An hour later, I scurried to my truck with two Hot Topic shopping bags and a maniacal grin on my face. I was practically radiating glee and I could feel wary curiosity mixed with more than a touch of dread seeping through the bond. It made my grin even bigger.

I drove around until I found a hotel, and paid cash for a single night rental. If all went well, that's all I would need. _And how could it not with the amazing(ly tight and slutty) little black dress that I bought today_, I thought, feeling glee bubble up within me again.

I knew that whatever happened would have to happen soon. The Pull inside me felt as if it was rejoicing, and I just knew that Paul was getting closer. It wouldn't be long now, but that was okay. All I needed was one night.

I grabbed the phone book off the nightstand and turned to the yellow pages looking for nightclubs. As soon as I saw the ad, I knew it was perfect. I couldn't have asked for better if I'd named the club myself. Tonight, I was going hunting at the Wolfsbane. Tonight, my wolf would pay.

_Ready to explode  
>The pressure buries me<br>The poison takes control  
>I drop down to my knees<br>I scream_

_.  
>Get this invader out of me<br>I need help this is killing me  
>I'm blinded by the thought of tomorrow<br>I'm drowning in this ocean of sorrow  
>I need to leave it all behind<br>I think I'm losing my mind_

_._

I know this is short, but I'm mainly just trying to get into the feel of writing again. I posted a new oneshot a few days ago as well if you want to go check that out. There's a poll up on my profile page to see which story you'd rather me finish first, this one or Gun Show. Thanks for all of you who have stuck by me and encouraged me to finish my stories! This chapter was meant to feel kinda choppy and disoriented because Bella herself is feeling that way. Anyway, I hope it came through that way. Let me know what you think! :)


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